but I CAN'T TELL......

Another half year since my last post.
It crossed from year 2015 to 2016.

A lot of things have changed......
It seems like a good one if you look from outside.

The work place has changed......and now I'm living with my parents again.
Ironically I used to wished that a lot because I don't like staying with relatives but now I actually feel easier when I stayed there without my parents.
I saw an article before about "Things you should do before 35".
Stay out of family.
I kinda wish that...... I know a lot of people out there wish to spend more time with family but I'm the opposite weirdo.
I do hope to live a bit far away from family...... so that I don't have to tell them wherever I go.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just a 7 years old kid for them...... I need more freedom
but I CAN'T TELL......

I have started to pursue degree course since last year.
I'm actually kinda happy to study at KL for like twice every few months.
I like city life.
Ironically I used to think is a happy thing to go KL but my dad wanna follow me everytime I go there.
I have no freedom at all with his guarding there. It's hard for me to go out late to hang out with friends.
Is always torturing to stay in relatives' house.
I don't like it
but I CAN'T TELL......

The relationship status has changed......
But I got a lot of doubting and I'm not as happy as previously.
Ironically I used to be so carefree, so optimistic, so happy......
I have some problems but I don't know who to share with......
Not my mom, is a secret.
Not my friends, they don't really care about that.
Not my BFFs, they have more problems than me.
For them it seems like my problem is actually not a problem at all.
I start to feel like I'm not myself anymore.
I don't really like to share my thought to family and friends.
They say a good relationship make you to be a better person.
Am I choosing the wrong person?
Am I being too inconsiderate?
I'm unhappy
but I CAN'T TELL......



I know is being to too public to confided but blogging is the only way that I can do right now.

Randomly on July

Hi, dear blog, sorry you have been abandoned by your owner.
Just checked out and my last post was on February.

So, here comes July.
Aha, so fast that it kinda seems like year 2015 is going to end soon.
So what had you done for the past six months? Any good achievements?

I was like almost same, rotten at the same kampung.
And I kind of demotivate on blogging, planning trip, reading even just few lines or magazines don't really attract me anymore, sometimes even talking also I feel lazy.
Ah, what's wrong with me......

Somehow, life gone a little bit better maybe with more exercises but it seems like I started to be lazy again.
A better bonding with few friends, glad that I still have the power that make people willing to share problems with me even though we don't always see each other.
I'm always ok if anyone feel depress or sad or feel like talking to someone, I may not be helping but I can lend my ears.
Yet, from there I learnt something.
A lot of people you may seems they are living a happy life but seriously they faced serious break down too, just every time tolerance n trust are important.
Whatever...... just feel blessed, we are blessed enough, don't be too greedy man!

Yea, blessed July. I certainly hope this will be one of the best month for this year.
Of course, I have been counting on something in my mind..... hahahaha... yea... it will be a good and perfect month with surprises.



x

D.I.Y Photoframe

Don't doubt when you see this.
It isn't bought from any where but truely handmade and it's one and only appeared in the world.

So, yea.. besides the wooden frame everything is done by me.

First step, coloured the frame.
Mix white, green and blue to get the elegant Tiffany Blue.
Isn't it far more better than those girlish pink?

Blow dried by hair dryer and it's done.
*not very obvious of tiffany blue due to camera quality*

Here comes the complicated parts.

I kinda spent three months (one or twice a week) went for clay art classes to complete it.

You really need to have good patience for squeezing and shaping the lump of clay into shape. That was already my limit for one project and I can't afford to continue another large one.

Some tools and materials.

                                                    ( clays, scissor, needle, glue, lotion)

Details of the side frame.

Both the bride and bridegroom dolls took me the longest time to mould them.

I swear no more doing human-liked creature.

Both the dolls tested my patience.

You moulded the body, then comes the gown, the suits, the hairstyle and even the shoes that you barely can see them.

Here comes the end result.
And now I know why handmade stuffs are always expensive.

x

First January of Too Old Wan Fine

So quick right? Yea tick tock tick tock it's 2015!
Another year again...
Why do I say Too Old Wan Fine?
Yes, I'm getting older c'mon it's 27 soon and Wan is my surname that means I'm fine with it... hahaha... just gonna hynotized myself I'm still 25.

I always wish to have a count down celebration but I didn't got to have any celebration yesterday night. Sobs.
Damn, late message! I supposed to count down in KL as this year is the only year that I don't have to work on 1st of January ever since I started to work.
For some bus ticket selling booth - late message - mind not spontaneous enough - delayed stuff reasons Damn again!
But well... don't get this small shit to ruin a new year.
At least I'll have a homie dinner with friends later. Yay!

I still remember 2011/12 were the darkest years then i found that the next year 2013 everything gone better and I hoped it continued to another year which was 2014.
So yea 2014 was pretty much the same as 2013.
Guess sometimes I should wished more...LOL.

Ok, no, I have to be gratitute enough that I'm actually so blessed compare to a lot of people. As last year we heard few airplanes crashed news imagine how heart broken if you were family of one of them.

So a little sums up here:

Career:
14' - Was kinda same or maybe I should say yea was bit better.
15' - I hope the transfering back to Kuantan is successful then I can start tuitions and earn more for travelling and good food!

Family:
14' - Still the same as well, just brother went study to another state so less fighting now.
15' - Definitely hope my parents still healthy and give me more freedom!

Friendships:
14' - Get to know some new friends. Well... is always good to have more and more friends.
15' - Instead of hi-bye friends I wanted to have more true friends with sincere heart or maybe someone that can inspire me. Is so good to know when you have been trusted by someone.

Relationship:
14' - Oh yeah, few friends relationship's status changed, of course to a better stage, but why am I still the same? sigh...
15' - Oh Lord, please have the right one appears soon. Seriously just the right one enough.

Charity:
14' - So like finally I went to do some volunteering at an orphanage nearby. Cute kids and serious caring brotherhood and sisterhood I had discovered there and I learnt too. But, something that made me guilty was seems that I'm not doing well enough to teach them and I couldn't made it there every weekends due to my laziness.
15' - Dilemma. Should I continue?

Travel:
14' - Have been travelling to few places Bangkok - Hua Hin - Langkawi - Ipoh - Pangkor Island - Cameron and KL/Penang that I used to go every years.
15' - So, more places and corners to discover soon in year 2015!! Still hope to have chance to visit Australia or maybe Macao for bungee!!

Anyway, may 2015 be a greater year ahead!

Oh yeah!

Be positive, remain my as always high self confidence lol
(I know if lil S see this sure gonna think I'm so lc...lol..whatever),
for sure I gonna have a better year that showering with loves and cares!!

May everyone around me be good as well!












x

Naive

Am I being too naive?
Am I really that stupid?

It seems like everyone is telling me not to trust people easily.
Nobody really supported me now.
But I just think if you never give out the first step, you'll never know if the person is really that not trustable or that bad.
Who knows right... might be a good one but also who knows might be someone who con on you... sigh
I mean is there really no any good person out there to be trusted?
Aren't there still some angels among the devils? Ok, maybe 1/1000.
Then, they would say you would never have chance to meet the "1".
Is it everyone living with bad intention?
People just tell you not to trust anyone, the world out there is too dangerous.
You don't wanna try cuz you're not strong enough for it.

I'm really in dilemma, should I try or I just stop there...should I really give up then?
There is too much to be worry about... yes too much cuz I'm a girl... wtf!
What if I'm a guy, then everything is totally different... nothing to be worry then.

I just feel like I'm telling too much at first.
I shouldn't be so honest towards a stranger.
That's what we called naive I guess.
I did some mistakes at the first place.